Value of Being Alone



As most people live with multiple roles to play, it is very difficult to find any time to just be alone with yourself. As a mother of 3, a wife, a yoga studio owner, etc., I am pulled in many directions daily.  There are phone calls, emails, extra curricular activities, groceries, and the list goes on and on!  I probably can not name one person who does not constantly change hats throughout their day. It is rare that I have a few hours alone to sit, to think, to reflect upon my life and all it entails.  But I crave that few hours of silence, or of turning my music up to rattle the walls.  This time allows me to be me and breathe and recuperate from the pull that constantly engulfs me.  Can you relate?  Yes, I know, you most certainly can relate!!

I have been reading "Love Warrior" by Glennon Doyle Melton.  In this book, she talks often about sending "her representative" out into the world. She uses her representatives to mask her true self in social situations, etc.  By putting her representative out there, she did not have to risk putting her real self out there. As her real self is safely tucked inside, she does not risk real rejection or criticism.  We all do it all the time.  We pick and choose which face to put out, depending on who we are around or the role we are playing, at the time.  So by constantly have to shift who we are, we sometimes lose ourselves in the crowd within our own head.  So by making the time to be alone, we can sift through the rubble of the crowd of representatives and come back to our original self.  

Imagine you are at a concert, with thousands of people around you.  It is loud, sweaty and people are touching you.  You are having a great time, but as the concert winds down, you just want to get out to the parking lot and take a deep breath of fresh, cleansing air.  You get into your car and shut out the noise of the people still milling around.  Those people are still within your reach, but you have quieted the rumble of their voices.  You begin to drive home and the sounds fade away even more.  Now you are in your home and you sit on the side of your bed and realize that, still, the vibrations of the crowd and music ring in your ears, even though they are much more subtle now.  As you lie down, you are alone.  No noise, no crowd, no "on guard" to worry about.

This is the value of being alone.  It allows you to let the crowd, the noise and all the chaos that comes with it, to dissipate and drip away from the person that is just YOU.  Once you shake off the mob, the responsibilities, the representatives, then you can uncover the You that you are meant to be and truly are.  Taking this time to breathe, to be still, to enjoy your own company is invaluable.  If you continue to keep pushing through and not taking the time to come full circle, you can lose yourself and feel overwhelmed with the mob in your own head.  Taking care of your authentic self, shaking off the representatives, removing the masks, even for a few hours, helps to recenter yourself, be better at managing obligations and slowly allows you to clear your mind, body and soul and just be You for the time.  

So schedule that time for yourself.  Talk a walk in the woods.  Sit in Meditation.  Turn YOUR music up and rattle the walls and dance, because no one is watching.  Make silly faces.  Scream to the top of your lungs. Sing with utter abandonment.  Create something. Let the real you out of the cage and let the masks fly into the wind.  Be ALONE.  Be with YOURSELF.  Love YOU!  Remember YOU!  BE YOU!


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